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I'm a 36 Year Old Newborn Baby.

Dear World,

What's new? Well, not a lot has happened since we last talked. I've been working, as is my/all of our lot in life.
I've been stalling on getting to work on a potentially HI-LARIOUS podcast...as is also my lot in life: I'm excellent at stalling. In fact, that should just be an entire podcast, starring ME, giving advice to people on how to stall any potential scenario that they want to vigorously avoid. It would get crazy-good ratings on iTunes.

My apartment is just finally starting to resemble a place that an adult may actually live.
My cat is still fat and fluffy and responds to ridiculous nicknames and watches Netflix with me.

Uuuuuh, what else?
Oh. Right. I'm gay.

Yes, I am gay. This is something I have known since age 9 when I made the critical mistake of developing a crush on another girl in school and telling all of my new, little friends about it. I lasted two weeks at that school.
I knew it when I first fell in love with a girl at age 13. I knew it...................well, I could go on for a very long time.
But yes, that and a whole lot more has led me to the knowledge that this is not just a 27-year-long-PHASE. It is an "IS".

I also love men! Always have and maybe always will. I've fallen hard for them and fallen hard for women. I refuse to term myself with the word "bisexual" however cause it just conjures up ridiculous imagery from terrible Paul Verhoeven movies and vomitey-smelling sorority girls with bad weaves, trying to impress similarly scented douchebag males.

So yes, I prefer to just go ahead and go with 'gay' or 'queer'. Either one works for me.

Oh and yes, I'm 36 years old (I think...I vowed to stop keeping track a couple of years ago, but I think that's more or less my age) and I am just coming out, now. Yes World, this is my coming out party!....(i.e., tiny little blog that a handful of people read when really, really bored).
YAY!

Why have I waited so long? Well, a few friends have known. I had told my mother before she died and other than that, I kept my little secret shrouded in a cloak of shame with just a dash of healthy self-hatred!
I also get exhausted at the very idea of having to explain things to people. Goes right along with my enthusiasm for the fine art of Stalling.

I'm now sober, as I have covered exhaustively in previous blog posts and the whole concept of "honesty" has really become A THING. And again, I'm 36 years old! I am no longer a child seeking people's authority and approval.
Subtext: Any supportive and loving comments on this blog would be much appreciated. PLEASE LOVE ME.

And so, there it is! To most, this is probably not a big deal. To some; maybe it will be.
For me, this is sort of the final frontier of fear, conquered. Nope; sorry just lied: This AND the IRS.

Love,
Tiff
 




 



Comments

  1. Rachel Rausch JohnsonSeptember 28, 2013 at 11:58 AM

    Bravo for making the statement! It's a brave thing you do. And I do love you! OXOX

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousDecember 18, 2013 at 8:20 AM

    straight, gay, queer, bi, whatevs...but definitely muppet. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8EURqoKLY8

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Invisible PunditDecember 18, 2013 at 8:24 AM

    DEFINITELY. MUPPET.
    Always!

    ReplyDelete

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